Subject: PB: "romeo & jimbolei: a tragedy of errors (in two acts)"
Sent: 4/5/97 7:59 PM
(scene: two rival moneychangers, both alike in dignity in fair southgate, where we lay our scene)
romeo: halt! who goeth there?
jimbolei:put away your weapon oh foolish man for i come not to harm thee. it is i, jimbolei, with blowfish pie for me & you oh. take a seat, tastes real sweet, put down your gun, bro.
romeo: do you bringeth this pie as an offering of peace?
jimbolei:nay, why should i wisheth to offer thee peace. i have done thee no wrong. i come here not burdened with guilt.
romeo: bah! not burdened with guilt you sayeth. yea, i seeth thee clothed in guilt. and i must sayeth: it fitteth thee well. yea, the guilt you wear suiteth you very well indeed. i simply must meet thy tailor jimbolei!
jimbolei:fucketh thee romeo!
romeo: nay jimbolei, fucketh thee!
jimbolei:you shutteth up - that's what thou art!
romeo (repeats 3 times): i know thou art, but what am i?
jimbolei (hands over ears): i can't heareth thee! i can't heareth thee!
romeo: foolish man, removeth thy hands from your empty head for there cometh something from afar that we both must hear.
chorus (from afar): gbv! gbv! where for art thou gbv?
romeo: you heareth now jimbolei? a school of angry blowfish about to goeth
jimbolei:what doeth we? shall we bid for forgiveness or take the gold coins
& runneth into the forest?
romeo: nay, there are no gold coins to take. but, runneth to save yonder
backsides? . . . yea say i! runneth we shall!
jimbolei:foolish man we cannot outrun the rabid blowfish.
romeo: i need not out runneth the blowfish. nay, i only need to out runneth
thee (off stage: rim shot)
jimbolei:no romeo, wait! the blowfish who amass at our gate can doeth no harm to us. they are merely voices. dost thou wish to be guided by voices?
romeo: nay, jimbolei. thou art right. oh but i am so confused. gbv, or not
gbv, that is the question. whether tis nobler to put on the shows, i
know not. but alas, i grow weary of this squabble. may a pox be on
both shows! (probably a reference to both the southgate show and the
yellow springs show - the editors). i wash my hands of this muddied
jimbolei:yes yes romeo! let's goeth you and i. we shall hideth in the dark
forest and partake of the sweet blowfish pie.
END OF ACT 1
(jimbolei & romeo seated deep in the dark woods. with grubby hands and stubby fingers, snorting and heaving, jimbolei & romeo dig deeply into the sweet blowfish pie)
romeo: aye jimbolei, this was a spendid idea. . . but what, what is that
chorus (off stage): gbv gbv gbv gbv gbv
jimbolei:i hear nothing romeo. thou art mad.
chorus (slightly louder): gbv gbv gbv gbv
jimbolei:aye, thou art right romeo. now i heareth what you heareth.
romeo: ignore the sounds and eat thy pie jimbolei!
jimbolei:nay romeo, for the more i eat the louder it sounds
chorus (louder still): gbv! gbv! gbv! gbv!
romeo: nay, i fear that the voices will never be stopped. we shall live with them forever.
jimbolei:nay! nay! i cannot stand it! please please stop the beating of
the hideous chant!
romeo: no jimbolei, this is our fate. alas we must share this fate as we share our guilt. for the cloak of responsibility is sewn by yonder chant. and though the hate we feeleth for each other is huge, we both shall wear the cloak, for in the eyes of those that chant i am afraid that we will always remain as one.
chorus (slowly enveloping the stage): GBV! GBV! GBV! GBV! GBV! GBV!
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Subject: PB: "previously missing act 3 of "romeo and jimbolei" found in london attic! scholars are dumbfounded! millions dead!"
Date: 4/6/97 7:35 PM
(curtains & lights up slowly. forest scene. two prone bodies)
what is this upon display?
it is romeo & jimbolei
though asleep they doth appear
the peace of sleep is not here
jimbolei:aye romeo, i am restless and cannot sleep!
romeo: nor i, jimbolei. for i fear our enemies at the forest's edge.
jimbolei:but romeo, listen! it is quiet. the merciless chanting has ceased. the voices are no more!
romeo: thou art right, but i fear this is an eerie calm. this deafening calm giveth me discomfort. as if we were in the eye of a storm and .
(sudden darkness. thunder crashing)
jimbolei & romeo (visibly frightened): ahhh! gaspeth!
(the slow and majestic lowering of a saintly figure clad in layers and layers of fine silk robes and a pair of these really expensive shoes)
I AM TIMO, THE FINNISH GOD OF TRUTH! I COME TO SPEAK TO YOU WITH A FINNISH ACCENT THAT IS QUITE NOTICEABLE, BUT REALLY DIFFICULT TO CAPTURE ON PAPER!
romeo (dropping to his knees): aye! aye! timo! we are not worthy!
what doth thou wish?
jimbolei (noticeably smug): bah romeo! speaketh for thyself. for i doth not not fear this timo for he is the finished god of truth. truly a god that is finished cannot possibly do us any harm.
(crashing & thundering again. rustling of curtain stage right.)
timo: pay no attention to the man behind that curtain! for i am the great and powerful timo, the finnish god of truth! not the finished god of truth, dumbeth ass. now, what is it thou seeketh?
romeo: we have wronged many and know not what to do.
jimbolei:aye, though we run, we cannot hide, for they pursueth us on foot and our heads.
timo: hast thou apologized for your actions? (speaking privately to romeo) and by the way, why doth thou shareth that silly coat as if thou were one?
romeo: why timo, it is the cloak of guilt. it was given to us back in act 2.
timo: oh, ok.
jimbolei:but timo, to face them & apologize would mean death. and, being mere mortals, we findeth death to be counterproductive.
timo: thou art truly silly men. the blowfish do not seeketh thy blood.
jimbolei:but timo, we try to speaketh to them, but to no avail. it's as if our words have fallen on deaf ears.
timo: bah! i feareth that i could pour the understanding that both of you possess into a dropper and yet it would not fill. you have offered the blowfish nothing but excuses and blame and these rolleth off them like water rolleth off a duck's back. you hint at apology out of one corner of your mouths, then unleash your venomous bile upon each other out of the other. the blowfish do not wish to listen to your endless rancor. your attempts to explain, debate, and covereth thy respective asses is nothing more than salt in the wounds of those you have wronged. acknowledge the error of thy ways! shareth thy blame as thou
shareth the cloak of guilt! only then will you findeth peace! i say unto thee: air not thy dirty laundry! but seeketh understanding!
(slowly brighten lights)
romeo: oh timo, thou art wise, for now i see what we have done and what we must do.
(continue to brighten the lights)
jimbolei:aye timo, thou truly art the finnish god of truth. we are forever in thy debt for you have broughteth understanding. how do we repayeth thee? what can we giveth to thee?
(it should be really, really bright now)
timo: i seek but one thing before i leave thee.
romeo & jimbolei (together): aye! aye! timo! what is it thou wishes to have?
timo: giveth me some water.
(lights dim and . . . curtain)